October 3, 2011
1. Newblog2011: 10/03/11 On The Rise: Rule interpretation at a day shelter for women in Cambridge, MA
Before I can write about what happened at the Salvation Army shelter, I have to write about what happened at a shelter that isn’t run by the Salvation Army.
I’m going to say this, although I’d rather not have to: there’s no code here, as far as what I’ve written and am trying to say. For one thing, I wouldn’t have had any reason to mention that fact that I had French Toast sticks for breakfast except for what happened in regard to it, which would have been the same result no matter what I'd made for breakfast.
I'm not going to go through this and write "no code" after everything in it after which I could possibly write that; it's a waste of time, and always has been. I've paid enough for mistakes and inconsistencies around code issues by now; I have paid enough.
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This morning, I went to a day shelter called “On The Rise,” in Cambridge. I have to say, that, despite things I’ve experienced at other day and overnight shelters, the director of that shelter is the most personally vindictive of any I’ve seen.
She’s a white woman, overweight, probably a few years younger than I am. She might not yet be 30. She seems to be married. I have yet to see her smile, tell a joke, or laugh at anything anyone has ever said, which is a contrast to other staff in the place, even those who have also been abusive toward me.
My impression of her, after having gone to On The Rise several times in the past several weeks, is that she is a miserable person for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and that a main motivation for her treatment of me is nothing more than that she enjoys abusing me and encouraging others to do the same.
I went to On The Rise to take a shower, to do laundry and to get something to eat. I didn’t get to do laundry; the sign-up sheet had 5 names on it by the time I’d gotten out of the shower. I didn’t sign up on the laundry list before taking the shower because I wanted to make sure that I got a shower and didn’t end up waiting around for it; a few minutes after I’d walked into the bathroom that has the shower in it and closed the door, there was a knock on the door and another guest was asking “Are you going to take a shower?”
The minute I walked into the kitchen, at not quite 9:30 a.m., the director of the shelter made a loud announcement about “fish chowder.”
There was what can only be described as a titter that went up around the room from other guests and another staffperson. I said nothing but went about trying to make breakfast for myself.
At least one of the guests started talking loudly about “fish chowder.” The director and the other staffperson in the room talked more about fish chowder also, that “we really have to finish that today.” When another guest started talking about shrimp, I asked the director and the staffperson if I could ask them something.
I pointed to the rules of conduct for the day shelter that are on the refrigerator door. One of them says:
“No yelling and no disrespectful or discriminatory behavior.”
I put my finger under the word “disrespectful” and traced a line to the end of the phrase.
I said “What does that rule mean to you? Here, where it says “disrespectful and discriminatory behavior.”
The first thing that happened was that another guest of the shelter said “There’s a lot of that here!”
She was ignored both by the director and the staffperson.
The director immediately turned away, as if to leave the kitchen. The other staffperson, another white woman who has participated in harassing me there at other times, got a smile on her face. She might be in her early 40’s, and is pretty. She said “We always try to intervene when people are yelling.” The director turned back and seconded that statement, “Yes, we always try to intervene when people are yelling.”
I said, to the older staffperson “Do you think that yelling is the only way of being disrespectful to people?”
She said “No, of course not. Why, do you have something to say?”
I said “I was just asking a question about what the rule means to staff here.”
She said, with a teasing tone in her voice “I don’t know, it sounds as if there was a question within the question.”
I said “I’m perfectly capable of expressing myself if I have something to say.”
She said “Let us know if you want to say something else; we’re open to it.”
A few minutes later, a black, female staffperson (all of the guests and staffpeople there are female) walked over to me and told me that I’d taken too many French toast sticks. The French toast sticks are in the freezer; they create a breakfast that takes only a few minutes to make.
She said “You can’t have that many. Our food budget is strapped.”
It is a place where most of what goes on is that guests and some staff, such as the ones who hassle me every time I go there, do NOTHING but sit in that kitchen and eat from the time the places opens at 8:00 a.m. until the kitchen closes after lunch. The counter was covered with bags of donated food when I walked into the kitchen that morning; that was the activity in which the director and the white staffperson were involved while using their conversation to harass me. There are 2 refrigerators, side by side, in addition to cabinets full of food. There was a case of bottled water on the floor by my feet. Under the counter, there are often bags full of pastries.
She said “You took, like 8 French Toast sticks.”
I said “I took, like, 6.”
She said “You can only have, like 4.”
I said “I’m leaving anyway.”
Most of the dish use is of paper plates, plastic utensils, paper cups. I had just finished cutting up my toast sticks so that I could bring the plate with me.
She said “You can’t take the food outside.”
The only thing that has to happen for a new, unfair rule to be implemented in that place is for me to do whatever the rule is then made to prohibit. When I first started going there, weeks ago, the rule was “You can take food outside to the park across the street, if you want to eat outside.”
I said “I’m leaving, though; I’m leaving for the day.”
I walked toward the front door, because I didn’t think I could sit there and eat without losing my temper.
She called after me “You can’t take that food out without asking our permission.”
I opened the front door and walked out.
She followed me; I was about to cross the street when she opened the front door and yelled “Lena, you can’t do that here.”
What was that rule?
“No yelling and no disrespectful or discriminatory behavior.”
Copyright, with noted exceptions, L. Kochman, October 3, 2011 @ 10:38 a.m./edit and addition @ 10:39 a.m.
1. Newblog2011: 10/03/11 On The Rise: Rule interpretation at a day shelter for women in Cambridge, MA
Before I can write about what happened at the Salvation Army shelter, I have to write about what happened at a shelter that isn’t run by the Salvation Army.
I’m going to say this, although I’d rather not have to: there’s no code here, as far as what I’ve written and am trying to say. For one thing, I wouldn’t have had any reason to mention that fact that I had French Toast sticks for breakfast except for what happened in regard to it, which would have been the same result no matter what I'd made for breakfast.
I'm not going to go through this and write "no code" after everything in it after which I could possibly write that; it's a waste of time, and always has been. I've paid enough for mistakes and inconsistencies around code issues by now; I have paid enough.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This morning, I went to a day shelter called “On The Rise,” in Cambridge. I have to say, that, despite things I’ve experienced at other day and overnight shelters, the director of that shelter is the most personally vindictive of any I’ve seen.
She’s a white woman, overweight, probably a few years younger than I am. She might not yet be 30. She seems to be married. I have yet to see her smile, tell a joke, or laugh at anything anyone has ever said, which is a contrast to other staff in the place, even those who have also been abusive toward me.
My impression of her, after having gone to On The Rise several times in the past several weeks, is that she is a miserable person for reasons that have nothing to do with me, and that a main motivation for her treatment of me is nothing more than that she enjoys abusing me and encouraging others to do the same.
I went to On The Rise to take a shower, to do laundry and to get something to eat. I didn’t get to do laundry; the sign-up sheet had 5 names on it by the time I’d gotten out of the shower. I didn’t sign up on the laundry list before taking the shower because I wanted to make sure that I got a shower and didn’t end up waiting around for it; a few minutes after I’d walked into the bathroom that has the shower in it and closed the door, there was a knock on the door and another guest was asking “Are you going to take a shower?”
The minute I walked into the kitchen, at not quite 9:30 a.m., the director of the shelter made a loud announcement about “fish chowder.”
There was what can only be described as a titter that went up around the room from other guests and another staffperson. I said nothing but went about trying to make breakfast for myself.
At least one of the guests started talking loudly about “fish chowder.” The director and the other staffperson in the room talked more about fish chowder also, that “we really have to finish that today.” When another guest started talking about shrimp, I asked the director and the staffperson if I could ask them something.
I pointed to the rules of conduct for the day shelter that are on the refrigerator door. One of them says:
“No yelling and no disrespectful or discriminatory behavior.”
I put my finger under the word “disrespectful” and traced a line to the end of the phrase.
I said “What does that rule mean to you? Here, where it says “disrespectful and discriminatory behavior.”
The first thing that happened was that another guest of the shelter said “There’s a lot of that here!”
She was ignored both by the director and the staffperson.
The director immediately turned away, as if to leave the kitchen. The other staffperson, another white woman who has participated in harassing me there at other times, got a smile on her face. She might be in her early 40’s, and is pretty. She said “We always try to intervene when people are yelling.” The director turned back and seconded that statement, “Yes, we always try to intervene when people are yelling.”
I said, to the older staffperson “Do you think that yelling is the only way of being disrespectful to people?”
She said “No, of course not. Why, do you have something to say?”
I said “I was just asking a question about what the rule means to staff here.”
She said, with a teasing tone in her voice “I don’t know, it sounds as if there was a question within the question.”
I said “I’m perfectly capable of expressing myself if I have something to say.”
She said “Let us know if you want to say something else; we’re open to it.”
A few minutes later, a black, female staffperson (all of the guests and staffpeople there are female) walked over to me and told me that I’d taken too many French toast sticks. The French toast sticks are in the freezer; they create a breakfast that takes only a few minutes to make.
She said “You can’t have that many. Our food budget is strapped.”
It is a place where most of what goes on is that guests and some staff, such as the ones who hassle me every time I go there, do NOTHING but sit in that kitchen and eat from the time the places opens at 8:00 a.m. until the kitchen closes after lunch. The counter was covered with bags of donated food when I walked into the kitchen that morning; that was the activity in which the director and the white staffperson were involved while using their conversation to harass me. There are 2 refrigerators, side by side, in addition to cabinets full of food. There was a case of bottled water on the floor by my feet. Under the counter, there are often bags full of pastries.
She said “You took, like 8 French Toast sticks.”
I said “I took, like, 6.”
She said “You can only have, like 4.”
I said “I’m leaving anyway.”
Most of the dish use is of paper plates, plastic utensils, paper cups. I had just finished cutting up my toast sticks so that I could bring the plate with me.
She said “You can’t take the food outside.”
The only thing that has to happen for a new, unfair rule to be implemented in that place is for me to do whatever the rule is then made to prohibit. When I first started going there, weeks ago, the rule was “You can take food outside to the park across the street, if you want to eat outside.”
I said “I’m leaving, though; I’m leaving for the day.”
I walked toward the front door, because I didn’t think I could sit there and eat without losing my temper.
She called after me “You can’t take that food out without asking our permission.”
I opened the front door and walked out.
She followed me; I was about to cross the street when she opened the front door and yelled “Lena, you can’t do that here.”
What was that rule?
“No yelling and no disrespectful or discriminatory behavior.”
Copyright, with noted exceptions, L. Kochman, October 3, 2011 @ 10:38 a.m./edit and addition @ 10:39 a.m.