KIDS, DON'T SWEAR. IT WON'T HELP YOU MAKE THE POINTS YOU WANT TO MAKE. IT'S A BAD HABIT OF MINE, WHICH I'VE INDULGED MYSELF IN THROUGHOUT THE FOLLOWING BLOG PAGE. YOU WILL DO BETTER IN LIFE IF YOU DON'T SWEAR. YOU WILL ALSO DO BETTER IN LIFE IF YOU WALK AWAY FROM BAD PEOPLE THE MINUTE THAT YOU REALIZE THAT THEY'RE BAD, INSTEAD OF TRYING TO HELP THEM "UNDERSTAND." ASSHOLES ARE ASSHOLES, AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.
Here's how you can tell if someone is a jerk; the person does one thing after another to hurt you and ruin your life, and then never stops trying to make it seem as if you're a bad person. That is what abuse is.
June 16, 2011
Today was WONDERFUL. Everything worked out for me, and I couldn't be happier.
No, that's not what happened. Here's what really happened:
First bad story:
I bought a half-gallon of Tropicana Orange Juice before I realized the front of the box has an unzipping zipper down the front of it, above an orange with a red and white striped straw in it, and the words "16 Fresh Picked Oranges Squeezed Into Each Carton."
I'm happy to be corrected in my suspicions about the carton if it's always said that and always looked like that.
On the side, the carton says "Coming SOON! Same GREAT Juice in a Brand NEW Bottle!" There's a picture of the bottle that's "coming soon". It has the same picture of the orange with the red and white striped straw.
Second bad story:
One of the first things that I did when I got out of the hospital at the end of March was go to a job fair. At the job fair, I met the coordinator for a job training program called "Vermont Works For Women." I made an appointment to meet with her in person, and even though she wasn't even taking applications yet for the program, she encouraged me to apply.
I just found out about a week and a half ago that I'm in it, and today was the first day. It's three days a week, in the middle of the day, at a place which is unfortunately called the Hedding United Methodist Church. I had strictly avoided that church, even though it serves community meals to the impoverished, because I saw that it had fish decals on the windows of the basement, where I assumed (and I was right) that they had classrooms and childcare rooms.
I had noticed that something called the Charles Semprebon Fund was being used for a while as code for support for pedophilia by the Times Argus. Onion River Racing and the Magic Wheel Community Bike Center are both listed with the Charles Semprebon Fund on the website for the "Barre Bike And Fitness Festival." The event listed at the top of that website is "Imagine Cycling in France," by Jon Kaplan, VTrans Bicycle Pedestrian Program Manager with Q & A Aldrich Library. There are other businesses and organizations listed on that website, including "junior Jazzercise."
I have limited time now, so this part is somewhat out of order chronologically; the basement has classrooms for children and toddlers, including a childcare room, and all of the doors to the classrooms have fish decals on the windows of the doors. One of the classrooms has a sign next to it that says "Missy Semprebon Kids Sunday School Teacher."
The first thing I saw when I went into the church today was, in addition to a yellow, wet floor sign close to the entrance, with a broom and dustpan, there was also a yellow, wet floor sign sitting against the wall just outside the entrance to the room where the classes for the program are going to be.
To make a long story short, I thought that I could trust the coordinator of the program, and I couldn't; she made more than one comment throughout the day, and at the end of the day, she said that one of her "dealbreakers" for employment was "cleaning up urine and vomit."
She had been making a list for people to say what helps them to "thrive" at work and what are "dealbreakers." Obviously, she's planning to bully me all the way through the next two months, and she's planning to encourage the other women in the class to bully me, too.
I tried to confront her after class, saying "Am I welcome here? Because I'm here to be productive; that's what I came here for. " She smiled, because that's what bullies do; her eyes got bright, and she said "What do you mean?"
This woman is running a program specifically for women who need help finding employment, who have gaps in their employment history, women who have been out of the workforce, women who have criminal records; the last thing that she should be doing is contributing to sexism and trying either to drive me out of the program or make me sit through bullying 3 days a week for the next 8 weeks. I can ONLY imagine how supportive she's going to be about the job placement part. If she didn't want me in the program, she should have been honest about that and then I wouldn't have wasted time. Part of the reason that I was slow in my job search was that I was waiting to see if I would get in and then I wanted to find at least a temporary job to do for the other 4 days a week that I'm in class.
People only get 4 months in the shelter from the time they get here; then they have to leave for a month before they can come back. My time is up on June 24th. I just last week asked if I could get an extension until September 1, 2011, because the program goes until August 4th and then I figured a month was enough time to get a good job through the job placement part of the program and then move into my own place at the beginning of September. I still haven't had an answer on that from the shelter, but if I know that I won't be able to sit through 3 days a week, even half-days, of being bullied by this woman and the other women in the class, and if I can't complete the program, then I won't be able to make the argument that I should get the extension at the shelter and I will be ACTUALLY HOMELESS on June 29th.
For the most part, I've been getting along with people here; sometimes new people come in, especially men, and before they get to know me they give me a rough time. One of the nights when someone wasn't being nice to me and I had to leave for the night, I tried to call a helpline and was told "I just gave the last bed I had available to a woman and her 5-year-old son." If that's the attitude that a lot of people who DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED OVER THE PAST YEAR have toward me, I can't imagine being able to find another shelter to live in when my 4 months are over.
@6:55 p.m.
Here's more about Vermont Works for Women. I'm going to use code in a minute, and I'll point it out then.
The coordinator read some of the paperwork she gave us out loud. One thing she read out loud about jobs that we need to apply for while we're in the program was "You will have to tailor your cover letter to fit each of these positions."
Aside from the fact that no matter what I did what she thinks I did, no coordinator of any program that's supposed to be supportive of women should be abusing anyone the way this woman did and is obviously planning to continue to do, would people who actually know what happened over the past year say that the way that I've described what 15 (code) did in regard to 17 (code) was wildly inaccurate?
Third Bad Story of the Day
When I was still in the hospital, I applied for a housing program called "Pathways to Housing." It's supposed to put people into apartments in a matter of weeks after they apply.
Shortly after I applied, I was told that the funding for the program had been frozen, and that there weren't going to be any more vouchers to help people with housing until the beginning of next year. I didn't think much about it at the time, besides the fact that it was inconvenient.
Recently, the shelter manager mentioned Pathways to Housing and said that somebody from it would be here the next day; I showed up at the shelter when I was told that the Pathways to Housing person would be here and was told by the shelter manager that she hadn't seen her.
I talked to someone at Pathways to Housing today, who is someone who had handled my application when I was in the hospital. I had never spoken to her before; today, she told me that the funds were still frozen, that no vouchers were going to be given out for housing until next year. I asked her when the funds had been frozen. She said "March or April of this year." I asked her if she'd ever e-mailed with my social worker at the hospital about my housing application; she said that she had.
I was released to the shelter that I'm in now at the end of March, after having been told that the funding for Pathways to Housing was frozen. The policy is that you need to be "homeless," but being in a shelter does qualify me that way; the point I'm making here is that I applied for that housing program while I was at the hospital, my social worker e-mailed with Pathways to Housing and probably faxed my application to them at the beginning or middle of March, and it was only after I'd applied to the program that there was any indication that funding for it had been frozen by the government.
Here's my question; is all of the funding actually frozen, so that NOBODY who applies to the program can get a place to live? Has that actually happened, has the government's persecution of me reached the level that the government is refusing housing to however many people need it just so that I can't get it? Or has Pathways to Housing been told that it has to tell me that there's no funding so that I can't get housing from that program?
Fourth Bad Story of the Day
Today I checked back with a job that I had previously applied for; the guy I talked to was wearing a "Harpoon" hat, and I'm not feeling especially hopeful about what that will be like even if I get the job.
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WHAT CAUSES MY RAGE:
THERE IS NO REASON THAT I SHOULD BE GETTING PREVENTED FROM DOING PRODUCTIVE THINGS OR HASSLED WHILE I'M TRYING TO DO THEM! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THERE'S ANYONE WHO'S WILLING TO CALL ME A SLUT AND A GOLDDIGGER AND SIMULTANEOUSLY MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO DO THINGS THAT ARE COMPLETELY PRODUCTIVE, HONORABLE, AND HAVE NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH ANYTHING EXCEPT TRYING TO SUPPORT MYSELF AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF.
IN ADDITION; WHAT'S ANYTHING IN MY LIFE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYONE WHO LIVES IN BARRE, VT? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE TO THINK THAT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM? I DON'T DO ANYTHING, NOT ANYTHING TO THE PEOPLE WHO DECIDE TO TAKE THEIR POTSHOTS DAY IN AND DAY OUT; ARE YOU EXCITED, NOW, EVERYONE WHO GOT TO ME TODAY? ARE YOU INCREDIBLY THRILLED TO SEE ME WRITING ON MY BLOG ABOUT WHAT YOU DID? YOU DON'T THINK I'VE HAD ENOUGH? YOU DON'T THINK I'VE MET ENOUGH PEOPLE LIKE YOU YET? YOU CAN'T FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR TIME?
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Fifth Bad Story of the Day, with perhaps something good that happened as a result of it:
First I'm going to say this:
IF I'M A GOLDDIGGER, WHAT AM I DOING LIVING IN A HOMELESS SHELTER, TRYING TO SIT THROUGH DAY AFTER DAY OF HARASSMENT AT THE DEPARTMENT OF LABOR, SIGNING UP FOR WORK PROGRAMS, AND THEN SITTING THROUGH HARASSMENT IN THOSE? HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW I'M NOT DATING ANY MILLIONAIRES, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE HASN'T BEEN ONE MINUTE IN OVER A YEAR THAT AT LEAST ONE MILLIONAIRE HASN'T BEEN SHOWING HIS INTEREST IN MAKING ME HIS GIRLFRIEND OR EVEN HIS WIFE?
THE PEOPLE WHO ARE PART OF THE HARASSMENT IN THIS TOWN AND IN VERMONT EITHER ARE JUST COMPLETELY CORRUPT OR THEY BELIEVE THE LIES THAT THE BIG HARASSERS HAVE TOLD ABOUT ME NON-STOP IN THE BIG HARASSERS' QUEST TO USE ME AS AN EXCUSE TO DESTROY WOMEN'S LIVES. EITHER THAT, OR THEY LOVE PEDOPHILES.
HOW MUCH OF MY BLOG HAVE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE PART OF WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DESCRIBE HAVE READ MY BLOG ALL THE WAY THROUGH? HOW MANY OF THEM REALLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, OR ARE THEY JUST SO EAGER TO BELIEVE THE WORST OF ME THAT THEY HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO INFORM THEMSELVES OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED OVER THE PAST YEAR?
THERE'S NOT MUCH RECORD OF MY INTERACTIONS WITH INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE; I ERASED THEM, FOR PRIVACY REASONS, NOT LEAST BECAUSE ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE KEPT SQUAWKING ABOUT HOW THEIR PRIVACY WAS BEING INVADED WHEN I RESPONDED TO THINGS THEY SAID AND DID ABOUT ME.
ALL THE PUBLIC KNOWS ABOUT THE PERSONAL SIDE OF WHAT'S HAPPENED IS WHAT IT'S WILLING TO BELIEVE OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE SAYING; I DON'T HAVE ANY PUBLIC RECORD OF IT ANYWHERE.
Some of the businesses that I've noticed with harassing/pedophilic signs up in their windows have gotten together to make a new game called "Barre's Treasure Dig!" It has its own poster, and today I went into one of the businesses and got the "Official Gameboard" for the new game.
Here's what it says:
"Barre's Treasure Dig!" (with a logo next to it that says "We Dig Barre"
Official Gameboard
Play every week from June 27th through November 19th, 2011. Get a new puzzle piece/entry form every week from a different Barre business. Weekly clues will be announced by local radio and newspapers and posted at www.wedigbarre.com. Full rules and regulations are listed below.
(Then there's a big picture of a rodent-type creature holding a shovel and wearing a hardhat, with things over it that say:)
WIN! $1,500 Grand Prize in November
WIN! $300 in Gift Certificates Awarded Every Week!
Get the latest info! www.wedigbarre.com
Participating Businesses:
Aaron's
Aubochon Hardware
Bag Ladies Express
Bargain Basement Thrift Store
Barre Books
Barre Dogs
Barre Paint & Paper
Beltrami Studios
Bob's Camera
Boisvert Shoe Repair
Coins & Hobbies
Community National Bank
Copy World
Delicate Decadence
Divine Design
Domino's Pizza
Dunkin Donuts
Ellie and Shirl's Simply Delicious
Espresso Bueno
Exile on Main Street
Goodfellows Fine Jewelers
Grakles
Granite Hills Credit Union
Jerome The Florist
KeyBank
Ladies Workout Express
Last Time Around Antiques
Lenny's Shoe and Apparel
Merchants Bank
Mister Z's
Needleman's Bridal and Formal
Nelson's Ace Hardware
Off The Top
Ormsby's Computer Store
P & S Furniture
PoolWorld
Quarry Grill & Tavern
Rent-A-Center
Richard J. Wobby Jewelers
Simply Subs
Subway (of the "EatFresh" bags and "AvocadOHH" sign in its window, in support of Kris Martin of the Times Argus and the Boston Globe's references to Obama's pedophilia campaign)
Women and Children First (I just wrote about the business and all the pedophilic references it has in its windows)
--------------------------------
I'm not going to put all the "Rules and Regulations" listed on the poster. The first part of the rules and regulations section says:
"No purchase necessary. Under 14 must be accompanied by adult."
There's something else on the poster that indicates that much of this new game has been coordinated by something called "The Barre Partnership."
It's the same kind of thing that Burlington had; some businesses and the city council getting together to create a knot of corruption that has probably harassed a lot of other people and even businesses before me. I'm nothing more than their highest-profile prey yet. That's why it's virulent, and why the games and other events get created so quickly; there's a committee that does it, and probably businesses that don't want to be part of it are in danger from that committee and from the businesses who do support it.
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June 16, 2011
The celebrity for whom this game was created by these vicious people is someone whom I've never stopped rejecting, not once, not in more than a year of his expressing interest in me.
Not one time have I stopped rejecting him; never.
As for what's obviously meant by the game starting "June 27th;" that's been over for a long time, too, and when I was having trouble making up my mind about him, I was in THE HOSPITAL. I was in a MENTAL hospital, where I could barely even recover from what I already been through because I was getting emotionally abused by the staff and then being told I was crazy, that none of the harassment was happening, and then being threatened with involuntary medication while they laughed at all the "delusions" I was having about supposedly in-context, constant conversations that they initiated around me about fish, cheese, mud, sloppiness, dirt, things smelling bad, things being wet....they were very inventive. I guess they didn't think they had anything better to do, either.
And now, I'm being threatened with jail, too, right? Because the prosecutor wants to say that I'm not crazy enough, that I should now stand trial?
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June 16, 2011
Here are the organizations listed at the bottom of the poster for "Clean Up Your Act Day." Unlike on the previous poster I described, the businesses and organizations were not listed on the poster in alphabetical order:
City of Barre
Casella
Copyworld
Resource
The Salvation Army
CVSWMD
Magic Wheel Community Bike Center
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June 16, 2011
I'm going to stop counting and quantifying stories now.
A "Flood Relief Center" has opened up on Main Street; they put the sign in red. It's got a "Clean Up Your Act Day" poster in the front window. I walked in the door and saw the shelter manager sitting there. That was after my day in the program which is supposed to be supportive of women.
I saw applications for the shelter on the table; the first few pages of the applications had the shelter logo, along with a fish logo. I realize that it's supposedly a Christian shelter and that the logo for Jesus is a fish, but.....I'm really tired of all of this, and even if they've had that logo for years, I know that the other things that have happened here have been deliberate and specific to me, for no reason.
THE SHELTER WHERE I'VE BEEN STAYING HAS HAD AT LEAST 2 FEMALE BEDS EMPTY THE ENTIRE TIME THAT THE CITY OF BARRE HAS BEEN SUPPOSEDLY RECOVERING FROM THE FLOOD. THERE ARE ONLY 6 FEMALE BEDS IN THE ENTIRE SHELTER, ANYWAY. THE WOMEN'S BEDROOM HAS AT TIMES BEEN HALF-EMPTY SINCE AT LEAST THE NIGHT OF THE FLOOD, EVEN THOUGH THE RESIDENTS OF THE SHELTER WERE ONLY EVACUATED FOR ONE NIGHT AND WERE BACK THE NEXT MORNING. AS I'VE SAID, THE SHELTER IS RIGHT NEXT TO A MAIN BRANCH OF THE RIVER, WHICH IS NOW PRACTICALLY DRY.
IF WHAT HAD HAPPENED WERE REALLY A CATASTROPHE, DON'T YOU THINK THAT NOT ONLY WOULD ALL OF THE BEDS IN THE SHELTER BE FILLED BUT THAT THE SHELTER WOULD BE HAVING TO TURN PEOPLE AWAY OR PUT THEM UP IN THE COMMON AREAS?
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June 16, 2011
There was one moment in the day that lifted my spirits.
I went to the Times Argus building, and the front doors are locked. There's a bunch of office equipment out in the parking lot; it's been there since after the flood.
There's a sign on the front door that says:
"Employees Only
Due to recent flood damage
this building is not open to the public"
I don't think that it's good to give out death threats, but what do you want to bet that a lot of people in Barre and even from other parts of the state are outraged and sickened by the behavior of the Times Argus, have been calling and going into the place irate, and that the Times Argus won't let the public in because it's afraid that someone's going to go in and beat them up or shoot them?
Again, I don't think that beating up or killing anybody who works at the Times Argus is the way to go with things, but I do appreciate the sentiment that's probably bringing a lot of complaints to that place.
I can understand people's frustration; the police are fully supportive of every criminal thing that's happening in Barre.
I went to the police station, intending to ask if they'd gotten a lot of complaints about the behavior of the Times Argus. In addition to all of the harassing posters and displays that they have just inside the front door, they still have the poster "Protecting Children Is Everybody's Business" on the bulletin board, with a "Mediation" pamphlet pinned over it.
My guess is that people call the police to try to get them to stop at least the pedophilic behavior of the Times Argus, businesses, and places such as the Aldrich Library, and the police say "There's nothing we can do; try mediation," while the police department supports everything that's happening?
On the back wall inside the police station, where the words "Fish Hill Road" used to be written on the dry erase board, it now says the following:
BURN PERMITS
#6001 3580 Rt. 14
5 Beach St
Rt. 12
Closed
River St?
(And then there was something that said "Patterson.)
I couldn't spend too much time copying what was on the bulletin board in the back of the office while looking at it from the entrance to the police station, because a woman in the office saw me and walked up to within several feet of the window. We had the following conversation as I scribbled down what I could see:
Her: "Can I help you?"
Me: "I'm just copying what's on the board. You don't have a problem with that, do you?'
Her: "Yes, I do; that's police business."
Me: "Really? But it's just out there for everyone to see. OK, I've got it now; thanks. Have a nice day."
@8:29 p.m.
I left the police station, which is just up the hill from the Salvation Army. Next to the Salvation Army, there's been a Green Mountain Coffee Roasters truck for a long time. There's an ad on the back of the truck for the following product:
"Single Origin
Colombian Fair Trade Select
Classically balanced, vibrant and complex with a splash of ripe fruit."
Offensive. It's all offensive, it's all disgusting, it's all harassment.
I hate it ALL as much as I ever did, and that will never change. How people don't themselves feel degraded by taking part in it still remains beyond me a large amount of the time.
I wonder if there are still people who think that anything that they say about me or to me, around me or in reference to me, offends me personally beyond how disgusting and inappropriate I think THEIR behavior is? I wonder if there is anyone who really thinks that I get offended by these things because it somehow strikes a nerve or "the truth hurts" or any of that?
I wonder if those people understand that no, that's not how I feel. I'm sickened and disgusted by all of that behavior because it's sexual harassment, because it's inappropriate, and because people think that they have the right to bully me when I haven't done ANYTHING to them, not ANYTHING, EVER!!
It's disgusting; the people who act that way are being disgusting. That has always been my opinion on the matter, and that remains my opinion. Not one second of it has made me feel bad about myself; NOBODY could deserve what has happened, and when I get angry, it's because these people are violating me and because they are preventing me from having a normal, productive and healthy life.
Copyright L. Kochman June 16, 2011 @ 8:37 p.m.
You know what, Google? SHUT UP!! You have been as destructive if not MORE destructive as anybody else. The ads, the stalking, the bullshit that you do....FUCK YOU!!!!!!
Are you or any of the other entities on the Internet going to deny that you've followed me around, tracked everything I did on the Internet for two years, have ridiculed me and screwed with me, hacked everything I owned, distributed harassment throughout the world; you are carriers of this evil. You are VERY responsible for what has happened.
How the hell am I going to have a normal life like this? Have you thought of that, have you thought about how your constant participation in everything bad that's happened has turned my life into a freakshow, and that nothing I do ever changes anything?
And now not only are women's lives being undermined around the globe, pedophilia is being "debated." That's what I'm hearing the news shows say, in coded form, that it's now a "debate" whether or not adults having sex with children is maybe "exactly what kids need." Those last few words of that last sentence are as close to a direct quote from a news show that I heard for a second this morning as I can give; "exactly what kids need."
Don't you try to make any of this seem like it's my fault. Don't you dare.
Copyright L. Kochman June 16, 2011 @8:54 p.m.
And yet another asshole guy whom I've never seen before in my life coughed at me when I walked in somewhere. That guy is a loser, and everyone who acts the way he does is a loser, and that's all there is to it. Despite all of my hard work on all of the issues over the past year, even when I was in the hospital, I'm vulnerable to being disrespected by losers like him because selfish assholes with money and power have made it that way.
I haven't had one day off from this crap in more than a year. It's a nightmare that the same kind of gross people never seem to tire of; as soon as the first bunch of them figure out what's going on and leave me alone, there's another bunch of jerks ready to replace them, because the encouragement for it by the big harassers goes on and on.
When are you going to fucking leave me alone? And when are you going to stop dragging as much of the rest of the world down to your level as wants to go with you, will you horrify and terrify everyone who has better things to do with his or her time than create harassment all day, such as people who have kids and who have real jobs that contribute to the world in a positive way?
I bet that the people in this town and all across Vermont who aren't part of that clique of business are terrified of what's happening. In addition to women's rights being constantly undermined by what's happening, most people can't stay home from work to homeschool their kids. How many people do you think are sitting through work, sick with fear that they're going to get a call, text or e-mail from their kid who's at public school, saying "I just got molested by my teacher?" How many kids do you think are getting sexually harassed and bullied in school, by teachers and by other kids, because of what's happened?
President Obama and others who have been part of this have demonstrated concretely that they think that people who commit suicide as a result of being bullied deserve to be bullied and ridiculed even after they are dead.
You don't think that people like our President, and the people in other countries who gave into him, and the people with no values and the lowest standards imaginable who have taken advantage of his corruption deserve to be confronted? You think that it's easy for me to do anything other than get online everyday, or make phone calls every day, confront people every day, and do nothing but express my rage at them? It's not easy for me to be diplomatic or thoughtful about any of it; it is always something I am making myself do, because NOTHING about my feelings about what's going on has changed over the past year. Sometimes I do better keeping that anger and disgust in check, and sometimes I can't hold it back any more, as you laugh and make more blogs and continue to contribute to hurting the world.
All of the harassing ads are stupid. All of the harassing TV shows are stupid; the movies, the news shows, all of it. All of it is stupid, but there's a lot of it. It is beyond contemptible; what has happened is beyond contemptible.
People who want to be part of it are the scum of the earth, and those who refuse to fight back are cowards.
Is there anyone out there who still wants to accuse me of writing this blog so that I can be famous, so that I can have publicity? Do those people know how many times I've thought about canceling the entire blog? I would do that in a second if I thought that I could; if I thought that I could do that and go on to live a normal life, and that all of the harassment would stop, and that women would stop being the intended victims of worldwide slavery, and that children would stop being the intended victims of rape, I would cancel this blog in one second.
Maybe there are people who haven't been following the story for very long who don't know that I've been telling a lot of the entertainment industry that it's disgusting and stupid for more than a year. None of this is about me being rejected by anyone or anything in that industry; it's all their revenge on me for saying what I thought of them.
@9:33 p.m.