To everyone who ever sees me wearing funny-looking ear protection:
I wear these sound-blocking, plastic earmuffs to block out the harassing comments and noises that get made around me when I’m trying to get something done. I have to keep the dishtowel or something else soft wrapped around the plastic piece that goes across the top of my head and connects the two earpieces so that it doesn’t hurt my head.
June 23, 2011
More privacy invasions
What happened at VT Works For Women
--More privacy invasions
This morning, as I walked to Montpelier, I saw that a newspaper called “The World,” which describes itself as “Central Vermont’s Favorite Newspaper,” has changed the lettering on one side of its sign to read:
“CONGRATS TO RESOURCE YOUTH BUILD GRADUATES OF 2011”
The other side of the sign has said, for a while:
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM
(NAME)
06-07-11
LOVE (NAME)”
Yesterday, I went to the Department of Labor because I got made to leave Vermont Works For Women. There were new (this is the last time I’m going to say this for this word: no code) announcements for a program to learn job skills run by ReSource in Vermont, and I looked the organization up on the Internet and also sent an e-mail requesting information.
(NOTE @ 10:04 P.M. I SAW THAT RESOURCE IN VERMONT HAS BEEN PART OF THE HARASSMENT, AND I WOULD NOT BE HASTY TO RECOMMEND THAT YOUTHS GO TO THAT PROGRAM. HOWEVER, I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE TO FIND WORK AND TO GET TRAINED FOR WORK. I'VE PREVIOUSLY EXPLAINED MY CONCERNS ABOUT FINDING WORK, HOW GOING SOMEPLACE SMALL THAT DIDN'T SUPPORT THE HARASSMENT COULD BE DANGEROUS FOR THAT BUSINESS, AND HOW I'M NOT ALWAYS SURE WHAT TO DO. MY THOUGHT, AT TIMES, IS THAT WHATEVER I GO THROUGH, I SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT, AND MAYBE THAT WILL HELP. It's interesting how some people never tire of things. I think that one guy at the shelter can't see me sitting at the computer without eventually going to sit at the table behind me and grunting out his coughs like a.....and now he's talking about the flood. It's so disgusting I'm going to run out of words to describe how disgusting it is.)
--What happened when I tried to go to VT Works For Women
I went to class yesterday, and saw that the coordinator was sitting on the steps inside the door with another person. The other person turned out to be the director of programs for VT Works For Women, and she said she wanted to talk to me.
We went into the empty room which has been the classroom for the group. Here’s what happened:
Her: I’m going to grab paper to document your experience. Why don’t you just tell me what your experience of the program has been so far and where you see issues or multiple issues?
Me: I’m not sure I understand the question.
Her: I’m wondering how—there have been 2 days of class so far, right? So, I’m wondering what your experience of the program has been thus far and if you see any problematic issues arising.
Me: This is sort’ve an odd conversation for me to be having.
Her: Why is that?
Me: Well, I mean, I have a blog that a lot of people read, and it’s somewhat hard for me to believe that you haven’t read it.
(long pause from her)
Her (in what seemed a carefully neutral tone of voice): How would I know about this blog?
Me: I would say that (the coordinator’s) behavior is not great, is disappointing, but it certainly is within the context of the greater situation of what’s going on.
(Here’s a note I’m going to write about that sentence. What I meant by saying that the coordinator/teacher of the program’s behavior was “in context of the greater situation,” I meant that her behavior was absolutely disgusting, an affront to all women, an abuse of her power, a total betrayal of everything that her job in a support role to women is supposed to be, and that it is like what other people who are abusive to women have done since the big harassers campaign to destroy women’s lives began.
When I write about putting things “in context” and not distorting words and images, that’s not the same thing.)
Her: What context is that?
Me: It’s hard for me to believe that you don’t know what’s going on, so I’m not going to answer that.
Her: It’s my job to keep the program going and it sounds as if you’re not meeting your goals--
Me (interrupting the beginning of her telling me that I’m not doing what I was supposed to be doing in class, which is where I could see she was going with it): That’s not true. I do what I’m supposed to do. I’m here and take notes, I show up, I’m not disruptive.
Her: I don’t know you at all and I don’t know what your experience of this program has been. I’d like to know what your experience has been. I’ve heard her (the coordinator) say that on two occasions you thought she was abusing you. You seem to think that the environment hasn’t been safe here. I’m here to hear what your experience has been of this program or the class if you want to share it.
(Note: Despite her having denied knowing anything about my blog, I knew as soon as she said “You seem to think that the environment here hasn’t been safe” that she’d read my blog the night before. On June 21, 2011, I’d written about what had happened in class that day, and how it was a violation of everything that the class is supposed to be. Here’s something I wrote on June 21, 2011. The “she” is the coordinator/teacher):
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Here's what #2 of the “Classroom Rules” as written on the handout she gave us says:
“2. Keep conversation decent & language clean. We expect behavior that will insure a safe and respectful environment for all involved with the program.”
The coordinator and teacher of the program has NOT been respectful of me, and she hasn't encouraged other students to contribute to making the classroom a “safe and respectful environment.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(I even saw the director of programs hesitate when she heard herself say “You seem to think that the environment here hasn’t been safe.” She knew she’d given herself away, or she was worried that she had.)
Me: I’m really not doing anything wrong.
Her: I’m not saying that you’re doing anything wrong—I haven’t said that. “What I’m here to do is to learn your experience of the program.
Me: My charge got dismissed. I found out this morning.
(long pause from her)
Her: Oh, I don’t know anything about your background. I’m glad for you—but I’m here to talk to you about our transitional jobs program.
Me: This is supposed to be a supportive place for women.
Her: Can you tell me how we can be more supportive?
Me: I don’t think that’s my job. I think that’s your job.
Her: Ok. My job is to make sure that this is a good match for people in the program. Based on your unwillingness to talk about it, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the program. You’re not a fit for the program currently, and we’re going to have to dismiss you from the program. This is not something that we want to do or have experience doing, but the purpose of the program is to help you find work, and the way you’re expressing yourself--
Me: Here’s my resume. Here’s the work history that I had in my account at JobLink at the Department of Labor and that I printed out yesterday so that I could bring it in here to class today. Here’s the e-mail address that (the coordinator) asked us to create to use as a work e-mail, as homework from last night.
(I said this while handing perfect copies of all of those things to her. I’m being harassed in the Montpelier library as I write this; at least one man and one woman have been doing the coughing thing.)
Her: Who we are in this program and what we do is not a match for what you’ve expressed so far.
Me: Why is that?
Her: Why is this program not a good fit? Because you express yourself in a combative way, where I’m not able to glean information from you that I would need to assess the safety of this group.
(There is no way in which I was combative toward her. I was completely calm. I wrote down everything that she and I both said, to the best of my ability. I didn’t raise my voice. I was serious; that’s not being combative, especially because I knew that she was there to complete the bullying and the lying and to make me leave. Also; there she was saying that she needed to “assess the safety of the group” after having denied knowing about my assault charge before hearing that I’d had one that had just been dismissed. I bet she’d planned her whole speech around the fact that I’d had a pending assault charge since I’d applied to the program. She and the coordinator were planning to blame everything that had happened in the classroom on me, to say I was “combative” and “aggressive,” and my telling the director that my assault charge had been dismissed at least made her pause, although she brazened it out, as you’ll see.)
Me: OK. You win this time. I hope it’s worth it to you. I hope you get a nice raise. I really hope it’s worth it to you, at least in the short term.
(I said all of that as I was gathering up my things to leave. When I said “You win this time,” I said it that way because, looking at her and having had the conversation, I got the feeling that I wasn’t talking to an individual, that I was talking instead to a drone from the GroupThink conglomerate that’s developed over the past year around the issue of undermining women and destroying the gains they’ve made in society. She had a little smile on her face as soon as she started telling me that everything was my fault.)
@4:36 p.m.
--The rest of the story
p { margin-bottom: 0.08in; } I did lose my temper somewhat as I was leaving. I got up from my chair, and had to go around the director of programs in order to get to the door. A copy of the Burlington Free Press that was published a while ago had been sitting on the table behind the class's tables since our first day. It had the title “Splash and Grab” on the front page. I picked it up and put it down on the table in front of her. I said “Here, you can read this.”
On my way out, I had to pass by the coordinator and one of the students, who were sitting on the steps in front of the entrance to the building. As I approached to walk by them and down the steps, I said “You stupid cow.”
Etiquette demands that I apologize for attempting to confront the director of a program for women about her lies, hypocrisy and misogynist agenda by startling her with a copy of the Burlington Free Press, and that I apologize for calling the coordinator of the program a stupid cow. It was very rude of me.
7:38 p.m.
I wear these sound-blocking, plastic earmuffs to block out the harassing comments and noises that get made around me when I’m trying to get something done. I have to keep the dishtowel or something else soft wrapped around the plastic piece that goes across the top of my head and connects the two earpieces so that it doesn’t hurt my head.
June 23, 2011
More privacy invasions
What happened at VT Works For Women
--More privacy invasions
This morning, as I walked to Montpelier, I saw that a newspaper called “The World,” which describes itself as “Central Vermont’s Favorite Newspaper,” has changed the lettering on one side of its sign to read:
“CONGRATS TO RESOURCE YOUTH BUILD GRADUATES OF 2011”
The other side of the sign has said, for a while:
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM
(NAME)
06-07-11
LOVE (NAME)”
Yesterday, I went to the Department of Labor because I got made to leave Vermont Works For Women. There were new (this is the last time I’m going to say this for this word: no code) announcements for a program to learn job skills run by ReSource in Vermont, and I looked the organization up on the Internet and also sent an e-mail requesting information.
(NOTE @ 10:04 P.M. I SAW THAT RESOURCE IN VERMONT HAS BEEN PART OF THE HARASSMENT, AND I WOULD NOT BE HASTY TO RECOMMEND THAT YOUTHS GO TO THAT PROGRAM. HOWEVER, I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE TO FIND WORK AND TO GET TRAINED FOR WORK. I'VE PREVIOUSLY EXPLAINED MY CONCERNS ABOUT FINDING WORK, HOW GOING SOMEPLACE SMALL THAT DIDN'T SUPPORT THE HARASSMENT COULD BE DANGEROUS FOR THAT BUSINESS, AND HOW I'M NOT ALWAYS SURE WHAT TO DO. MY THOUGHT, AT TIMES, IS THAT WHATEVER I GO THROUGH, I SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT, AND MAYBE THAT WILL HELP. It's interesting how some people never tire of things. I think that one guy at the shelter can't see me sitting at the computer without eventually going to sit at the table behind me and grunting out his coughs like a.....and now he's talking about the flood. It's so disgusting I'm going to run out of words to describe how disgusting it is.)
--What happened when I tried to go to VT Works For Women
I went to class yesterday, and saw that the coordinator was sitting on the steps inside the door with another person. The other person turned out to be the director of programs for VT Works For Women, and she said she wanted to talk to me.
We went into the empty room which has been the classroom for the group. Here’s what happened:
Her: I’m going to grab paper to document your experience. Why don’t you just tell me what your experience of the program has been so far and where you see issues or multiple issues?
Me: I’m not sure I understand the question.
Her: I’m wondering how—there have been 2 days of class so far, right? So, I’m wondering what your experience of the program has been thus far and if you see any problematic issues arising.
Me: This is sort’ve an odd conversation for me to be having.
Her: Why is that?
Me: Well, I mean, I have a blog that a lot of people read, and it’s somewhat hard for me to believe that you haven’t read it.
(long pause from her)
Her (in what seemed a carefully neutral tone of voice): How would I know about this blog?
Me: I would say that (the coordinator’s) behavior is not great, is disappointing, but it certainly is within the context of the greater situation of what’s going on.
(Here’s a note I’m going to write about that sentence. What I meant by saying that the coordinator/teacher of the program’s behavior was “in context of the greater situation,” I meant that her behavior was absolutely disgusting, an affront to all women, an abuse of her power, a total betrayal of everything that her job in a support role to women is supposed to be, and that it is like what other people who are abusive to women have done since the big harassers campaign to destroy women’s lives began.
When I write about putting things “in context” and not distorting words and images, that’s not the same thing.)
Her: What context is that?
Me: It’s hard for me to believe that you don’t know what’s going on, so I’m not going to answer that.
Her: It’s my job to keep the program going and it sounds as if you’re not meeting your goals--
Me (interrupting the beginning of her telling me that I’m not doing what I was supposed to be doing in class, which is where I could see she was going with it): That’s not true. I do what I’m supposed to do. I’m here and take notes, I show up, I’m not disruptive.
Her: I don’t know you at all and I don’t know what your experience of this program has been. I’d like to know what your experience has been. I’ve heard her (the coordinator) say that on two occasions you thought she was abusing you. You seem to think that the environment hasn’t been safe here. I’m here to hear what your experience has been of this program or the class if you want to share it.
(Note: Despite her having denied knowing anything about my blog, I knew as soon as she said “You seem to think that the environment here hasn’t been safe” that she’d read my blog the night before. On June 21, 2011, I’d written about what had happened in class that day, and how it was a violation of everything that the class is supposed to be. Here’s something I wrote on June 21, 2011. The “she” is the coordinator/teacher):
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Here's what #2 of the “Classroom Rules” as written on the handout she gave us says:
“2. Keep conversation decent & language clean. We expect behavior that will insure a safe and respectful environment for all involved with the program.”
The coordinator and teacher of the program has NOT been respectful of me, and she hasn't encouraged other students to contribute to making the classroom a “safe and respectful environment.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(I even saw the director of programs hesitate when she heard herself say “You seem to think that the environment here hasn’t been safe.” She knew she’d given herself away, or she was worried that she had.)
Me: I’m really not doing anything wrong.
Her: I’m not saying that you’re doing anything wrong—I haven’t said that. “What I’m here to do is to learn your experience of the program.
Me: My charge got dismissed. I found out this morning.
(long pause from her)
Her: Oh, I don’t know anything about your background. I’m glad for you—but I’m here to talk to you about our transitional jobs program.
Me: This is supposed to be a supportive place for women.
Her: Can you tell me how we can be more supportive?
Me: I don’t think that’s my job. I think that’s your job.
Her: Ok. My job is to make sure that this is a good match for people in the program. Based on your unwillingness to talk about it, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the program. You’re not a fit for the program currently, and we’re going to have to dismiss you from the program. This is not something that we want to do or have experience doing, but the purpose of the program is to help you find work, and the way you’re expressing yourself--
Me: Here’s my resume. Here’s the work history that I had in my account at JobLink at the Department of Labor and that I printed out yesterday so that I could bring it in here to class today. Here’s the e-mail address that (the coordinator) asked us to create to use as a work e-mail, as homework from last night.
(I said this while handing perfect copies of all of those things to her. I’m being harassed in the Montpelier library as I write this; at least one man and one woman have been doing the coughing thing.)
Her: Who we are in this program and what we do is not a match for what you’ve expressed so far.
Me: Why is that?
Her: Why is this program not a good fit? Because you express yourself in a combative way, where I’m not able to glean information from you that I would need to assess the safety of this group.
(There is no way in which I was combative toward her. I was completely calm. I wrote down everything that she and I both said, to the best of my ability. I didn’t raise my voice. I was serious; that’s not being combative, especially because I knew that she was there to complete the bullying and the lying and to make me leave. Also; there she was saying that she needed to “assess the safety of the group” after having denied knowing about my assault charge before hearing that I’d had one that had just been dismissed. I bet she’d planned her whole speech around the fact that I’d had a pending assault charge since I’d applied to the program. She and the coordinator were planning to blame everything that had happened in the classroom on me, to say I was “combative” and “aggressive,” and my telling the director that my assault charge had been dismissed at least made her pause, although she brazened it out, as you’ll see.)
Me: OK. You win this time. I hope it’s worth it to you. I hope you get a nice raise. I really hope it’s worth it to you, at least in the short term.
(I said all of that as I was gathering up my things to leave. When I said “You win this time,” I said it that way because, looking at her and having had the conversation, I got the feeling that I wasn’t talking to an individual, that I was talking instead to a drone from the GroupThink conglomerate that’s developed over the past year around the issue of undermining women and destroying the gains they’ve made in society. She had a little smile on her face as soon as she started telling me that everything was my fault.)
@4:36 p.m.
--The rest of the story
p { margin-bottom: 0.08in; } I did lose my temper somewhat as I was leaving. I got up from my chair, and had to go around the director of programs in order to get to the door. A copy of the Burlington Free Press that was published a while ago had been sitting on the table behind the class's tables since our first day. It had the title “Splash and Grab” on the front page. I picked it up and put it down on the table in front of her. I said “Here, you can read this.”
On my way out, I had to pass by the coordinator and one of the students, who were sitting on the steps in front of the entrance to the building. As I approached to walk by them and down the steps, I said “You stupid cow.”
Etiquette demands that I apologize for attempting to confront the director of a program for women about her lies, hypocrisy and misogynist agenda by startling her with a copy of the Burlington Free Press, and that I apologize for calling the coordinator of the program a stupid cow. It was very rude of me.
7:38 p.m.